Blam!

Though I admire the lack of spam comments, it's easier just to post a new entry as my comments than to create an account at WeverTF that mediator site is. MattD, there is a detail in your analysis that is missing. Not sure if it changes things or not. But, HTF does the egg not follow a parabolic path in its flight? And, furthermore, HTF does the egg maintain its non-parabolic path when Mario hitches a ride on one of those puppies? If I recall correctly, there is no deflection upon the addition of Mario, which might imply such a high mass that Mario's contribution becomes negligible. I didn't bother to look back at your final figure, so I must assume it's wrong. I had considered that there might be some high amount of rotational velocity imparted prior to release that is maintained far beyond the length of the screen, and the rotation could be converted to lift in some fashion, but Mario rides just shoot that down the crapper. Taking this down the path that these eggs are actually composed of multiple spinning and non-spinning layers may be able to justify it, but I'm concerned it would raise more unanswerables. Is it possible that the egg is actually massless and the deflection upon impact is due to, say, electrical discharge? That doesn't explain to me HTF Mario can ride the train.

Word up, players and haters alike. I've spoken with Sam and Steve and we decided it was high time for everyone to get their Blam! on. So I've decided to post the only way I know how: a White Russian in one hand and an airsoft pistol in the other. 16 in the clip and one in the hole, bros. This naturally leads to two questions you don't want answered: HTF am I typing and about WTF will I be typing? The answer to both is science.
We all know that Super Mario Bros. 2 is a little off. It was Shigeru Miyamoto's drug baby. In Japan, though, when you get all coked up and father a bastard child, you don't kill it or give it away like we do here. No sir. They sell the hell out of it. I'm not saying that the game is terrible or anything, just that it was born a little underweight and will have a tendency to engage in self-destructive behavior.

Peach: Mario! You said you weren't gonna do any more of those door potions!
Mario: Trick, shut yo mouth before you get a turnip upside your head.

At any rate, this game did introduce to the sexiest video game vixen ever- Birdo. At least, I think Birdo's a chick. It has a bow and launches eggs at you. Sounds like every skirt I've ever known. This ambiguity just goes to highlight what and how much we don't know about Mario-2-Land. I've decided to shoulder the burden of taking the first step to understanding this narcotics-induced nightmare world: finding the mass of one of Birdo's eggs. Of course to do this, certain assumption must be made, and I'll explain each one as I make it. Should you disagree with any of these assumptions, dear reader, you can kiss my glorious Shy Guy.
The first step, as I saw it, was to establish a length scale. Mario Andretti was the only Italian Mario whose height I could find. Andretti stands a respectable 1.7 meters, but the Mario in question is super, meaning more than your standard Mario. After averaging 1.7 m with Yao Ming's 2.3 m, I came up with 2 m. Yao's gotta be the upper limit. After all, you don't want Super Mario sidelined by leg/foot problems. Mario can jog at approximately 1.33 Marios/second (2.66 m/s) while Birdo's egg (after launch) travels at 2.66 Marios/second (5.33 m/s). If the egg strikes Mario, it sends him recoiling with a speed of 2/3 of a Mario/second (1.33 m/s). If we assume the collision is perfectly inelastic... I mean why wouldn't we? The thing disappears when it hits the dude, the only logical explanation is that it lodges itself into Mario's stomach and is digested once he lands. At any rate, perfectly inelastic. So now we just need Mario's mass.
I never really got into the Soprano's or the Godfather or anything really, but I did watch enough of them to realize that any Italian that doesn't get whacked is skinny, while the remainder are quite tubby. Assuming a whacked to not whacked ratio of 4:1 for your average Italian, we can immediately conclude that 4/5 of Italians will be whacked fatties. An obese person has a BMI of 30 kg/m^2, meaning Mario's mass ought to be (4/5)*(30 kg/m^2)*4 m^2 or 96 kg. Again, he's super so I'm gonna round up to 100 kg. Combine this with a stationary Mario facing off with Birdo and conservation of momentum, you get the mass of Birdo's egg to be 33.3 kg, or 73.5 lbs. For comparison, that's eighteen Kerri Strugs. But there you have it. Egg don't lie.

Okay, Sam, so you didn't know how to do it, like it used to be?

Continue reading " S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T" »

(Make sure to read Steve's too, just below, I don't know how to make a teaser entry so you can see that he wrote one just underneath in this version of Movable Type yet)

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Lived with Japanese people.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I never really make or remember these.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Reggie (Pastor Reg) had a new young girl. Well, his wife Amy did at least.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Amanda (formerly Mogensen)

5. What countries did you visit?
Canada. I visited Canada... again. (This time Montreal, it's a cool city)

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
An awesome hobby. Closer group of friends, but I think I'm making progress there.

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
MMmmm. I don't remember dates, too well, but the Sloan concert was awesome and the party we had was pretty cool

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Did some good stuff at work. I also think I had a hand in getting some friends to reconcile with each other.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Having all sorts of potential to do stuff, but still not knowing what to do or just wasting too much time in general.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not anything I didn't catch last year.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Wii

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Deb Sherril

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Dan, Steve, Tall Mark and whoever else keeps sending those "2 Girl 1 " links

14. Where did most of your money go?
House

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Having a cool roommate).

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
"Staring at the Sun" - Simple Kid

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier, sadder?- Happier that I'm making more of a life in Augusta. Sadder that my old life/friends seem even further away now.

fatter, thinner? Same

richer, poorer? Richer, I'm still paying off my car debt though, Steve has me there.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Read, fixed up the house, biked.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Spend time on the computer, or watching TV

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I went home, but I also saw my cousins in Atlanta which was fun.

21. What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in 2007?
I had an awesome party at my house... but certain attendees were adamant that I overindulge.

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
I was infatuated with a few parties. 2008 Looks like a better year for love.

23. How many one-night stands?
None.

24. What were your favorite TV programs?
LOST. South Park. Kenny v. Spenny, Death Note

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I wouldn't say 'Hate'

26. What was the best book you read?
Do Androids dream of Electric Sheep? - Phillip K Dick

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Pandora.com

28. What did you want and get?
a rentor/roommate

29. What did you want and not get?
a shetland pony

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Superbad

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
24: I met pastor Reg and Jeremy at Stilwater for some Smithwick's. It was pretty good.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Direction

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Mill Uniform, or shirt and jeans. My roommate drug me to a few trendy stores and made me try some new stuff. She has much better fashion sense than me and can be very convincing and cute, but I'm probably not going to change styles that much.

34. What kept you sane?
hope, friends.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Deke Copenhavor

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Maybe the Surge in Iraq... maybe.

37. Who did you miss?
Friends at Tech, friends from home, Cross Country Skiing

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I met a good number of cool people this year now that I think about it. Yoichi, Josh, Hope, among many others.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
If you're doing business, you tend to get better results from people if you act demanding and curt. This might not apply to working with your peers.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Far away
This ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

Never needed nobody
Never needed a girl
I’ve been breakin’ my own heart
I’ve been rockin’ my world - Sloan, Ready For you

What an apparently uneventful year for 410 Dodge. Anyway, here we go:

Continue reading "Yearly Survey That Sam Thought Was Dumb Last Year" »

God rest your soul Amanda. I'm so sorry for what happened, I didn't know that the cancer remained until just today . We'll pray for your surviving family.

You were gifted, funny, smart and more. We'll remember you.

It's Memorial Day.

Remember the dead, you vibrant jerks.

Oklahoma is an interesting place, I found out this weekend. Saturday morning I thought, "Man, the weather's going to be nice [i.e. no tornadoes], and I don't have anything I have to do [not that I ever do], why don't I go to Oklahoma?" And so, I did.

Continue reading "I got my kicks on Route 66" »

When we left off, I was telling you about my brief encounter of the feminine kind. Yesterday, at the same grocery store, I had come into yet another intriguing situation, and again I was trying new wares from the produce department.

1) Egg Plant... well, not so good. It's alright, but if I had never intentionally had it in my life, I wouldn't mind so much.

2) Bok Choy... not too bad. Also known as chinese cabbage, or napa cabbage. Put into stir fry it fits in pretty well.

A baby crapped itself. The mother kept saying "You stink" to her daughter, every 15-30 seconds, whenever someone came by. Way to be discrete about it, though she was probably really embarrassed. Maybe it was a friendly warning to stay clear. Thank you. In the check-out line, she said to her daughter, "You stink, girlfriend." Hilarious. I was waiting for a "Snap-snap-snap," but the little girl was only a year old or so, lacking the coordination necessary for this appropriate retort.

Who needs cable, when all you need to do is go to your local grocery store and watch?

Rainy, and overcast skies, the roads were slick. A jeep-type vehicle was rounding a corner and the driver lost control. Swerving and skidding, the vehicle did a round-house maneuver and chopped down a fire hydrant. Part of the bumper was ripped off in the struggle during the fire hydrant's last instant of life. The steet soon was flooded. No one was hurt, but I finally had one of my dreams come true: I got to be a witness questioned by the police, and I also got to see something I've only seen in movies.

What's next: Try Brussels Sprouts. Bam! Accomplished. They're alright. A little bitter on the inside, but the outside leaves are pretty good. Boiled!

Oh, and a girl talked to me in the grocery store. It was love at first sight. "So, you drink tea," she said, to which I replied, "Yeah, sometimes." The conversation lasted about 15 more seconds, comparing coffee to tea, then she walked away. Maybe next time I'll talk to a girl for a whole minute, and maybe even find out her name. That's a stretch.

Stay tuned for further developments. I promise next time will be more exciting.